Funny Things Kids Say – Parenting Plights and Delights

“When humor goes, there goes civilization.” ~Erma Bombeck

In an article titled You’re Not Laughing Enough and That’s No Joke, Therapist Pamela Gerloff stated, “The average four-year-old laughs 300 times a day. The average 40-year-old? Only four.”

I’m on a mission to help change that.

Lynn Kelley, funny things kids say

Light-hearted moments – we all need more, for sure.

Here’s a conversation between my nephew Corey and his four-year-old son:

Corey: Quit messing around and get ready for bed.
Son: Hey, I was born ready.
Corey: I SAID QUIT … wait, what? Where did you hear that?
Son: I don’t know, probably Youtube.

The other day, four-year-old granddaughter Ninja Doll (my nickname for her) tried to pull a fast one on her mom:

Ninja Doll (whining): MOM! I have a tummy ache, so I n-e-e-e-e-d a marshmallow!

Haha! Good try, Ninja Doll.

Next, one of my favorite parenting stories. It falls into the embarrassing-moments-in-parenting category.

Lynn Kelley, funny things kids say

Caution: If you blush easily, you might want to skip this one.

Lynn Kelley, funny things kids say

Little Miss Sassy Pants a year or two after the shopping trip.

Ginger: “Ah … kids! Being embarrassed by them in public is part of a parent’s initiation to the big leagues.

“I was shopping with my very young daughter who was in the early stages of talking. I took her temperature that morning and announced she was running a fever, low-grade, no big deal. Off to the store we go.

“In the feminine product aisle (no less!) we pass two senior citizen women who smiled at my daughter and exclaimed how cute she was.

“My darling daughter announced in an alarmingly articulate manner, ‘I have a beaver.’

“No amount of shh’ing or repeating ‘fever’ would stop her from telling everyone about her beaver. Then she asked for a Dora balloon, the one with a dick.

“STICK, honey, a stick.

“Yes, I want it with the dick.”


Did you blush? There are plenty of embarrassing moments while raising kids. Believe me, I’ve had many. I’ll share the ones I remember in future posts.

Lynn Kelley, funny things kids say

“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ‘Checkout Time is 18 years.”
~ Erma Bombeck

Those 18 years zip by at light speed, but then the grandkids and more nieces and nephews come along to keep us young at heart.

Can you relate to any of these conversations? Do you have some of your own you’d like to share, either as a parent, grandparent,  aunt or uncle, teacher, or from your own childhood? 

Do you have any tooth fairy stories? Any amusing anecdotes while shopping with kids?

I’d love to hear from you.

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Thanks for stopping by!




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7 Responses to Funny Things Kids Say – Parenting Plights and Delights

  1. LOL!!!!!!! Oh, my gosh, that last one had me laughing out loud!!! Thanks for the early morning laughs! Keep these “Parently Plights & Delights” coming! They are hilarious! 🙂

  2. If your goal is to make us laugh, consider this post a success! Ginger’s story didn’t make me blush, it made me LMAO!

    The only one I can think of that comes close is when our daughter was in kindergarten, and we met her teacher for the first time. She gave my husband a strange look and said, “I have to ask. What do you do for a living?” At the time, we owned a bar, which he ran and bartended at. The teacher was pretty relieved, and explained that our daughter told her that her dad “serves beer and beats people up.” LOL!

    • Wonderful that this post made you laugh, Jennette. Your story made me laugh out loud, too! Hahahaha! Am still laughing. Thanks so much for stopping in and sharing your funny parenting story with us!

  3. Good thing she didn’t want a beaver on a dick.
    I was born ready is from a movie but I can’t remember which one.

  4. Yvette Carol says:

    Gorgeous! The other day, my youngest explained his over exuberance (see, really loud voice indoors) with “Mum, I’m young and FULL of beans!” Ha ha. I laughed so hard over that! 😀

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