Heads Up – Fashion Police Check Points on Every Corner For New Year’s

Heads up, everyone. A little rat told me the Fashion Police are cracking down extra hard this year.

Figures. Just when I ran out of makeup remover.

If you plan to wear spike heels with long jean shorts for New Year’s, I hope you can sprint in those babies.

Fashion Police Crackdowns Aren’t a New Tradition

Sometimes fashion officers will meet an entire year’s quota by going all out on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. They like to compete to see who can set a new record.

These mug shots, public records for everyone and their brother to view, provide hard evidence of vintage fashion faux pas. I must admit they look trendy for their time period, so perhaps they committed the goofy smile no-no. See below.

Those vintage jailbirds are the lucky ones. They were arrested pre-Judge Judy days.

Word on the Street: There Will Be Check Points on Every Corner

So, beware. With Fashion Police out in full force, I advise we hunker down and wait it out at home.

Some people love to be risk takers. These baggy tunics could conceal a keg of beer or two:

What in the world are they thinking? Are they dying to end up in Judge Judy’s court?

Pay close attention to the couple below.

Lynn Kelley, fashion police

They’re undercover Fashion Police. So easy to spot. Shame, shame if you don’t see them coming from five blocks away on a moonless night.

What’s with the hippie look? Is it replacing the ugly sweater trend?

Lynn Kelley, Fashion Police

Do not — I repeat DO NOT shoot a goofy smile at a Fashion Police Officer. It sets them off in a major way.

Looks like someone’s not happy:

Lynn Kelley, fashion police

Snarl all you want, but you were warned goofy grins are a big no-no when looking the Fashion Police in the eye, especially if you wear fake pearls.

Uh-oh, double trouble:

This one takes the cake. Not only got nailed by the Fashion Police, but the Etiquette Squad made her eat off that same fork for the next 30 days.

I admit I’ve been fined by the fashion police in the past. Here’s one fashion faux pas, but it was a minor infraction. It’s amazing I wasn’t arrested for my Funky Foo Foo Updo, but I have a feeling they mistook me for a tree.

Grammy advises staying home like the good people in this retro video from 1960. They just so happen to be my grandparents, their next-door neighbors, and my uncle and his friends:

What are you doing for New Year’s? Are you getting all decked out and going somewhere special? Staying home? Having company? Committing a fashion crime? 

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you a safe and Happy New Year, and may you gather a nice collection of shiny treasures as you reach for the stars and fulfill your dreams in the coming year. Cheers to a healthy, amazing, and prosperous 2018!

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6 Responses to Heads Up – Fashion Police Check Points on Every Corner For New Year’s

  1. Marilyn Powell says:

    Great humor Lynn! I will keep an eye out for the Fashion police this New Years!
    Fun post, as always, made me laugh! You have some really crazy pictures for this blog!
    Love, Mom

  2. Glad we’re staying home this year. Those fashion police would surely nab me!

  3. Eden Mabee says:

    The fashion police would have to see under our very thick coats and scarves… that is if we were heading out this evening. Instead, the New Year will be greeted from the cozy confines of our living room, cats curled up on either side of us, and a glass of eggnog on the end table. A perfect way to end one journey and start another…

    That said… I loved the videos!

    • Hello Eden! Sounds like you live in the colder climate and bundling up adds a whole other dimension to going out on New Year’s. Your plans to stay home sound perfect! Yes, best way to end one journey and start another. You have a knack for writing, even in leaving a comment on a blog. I love it. Thanks for stopping in. Happy New Year!

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