Mother’s Day is upon us. Are you super busy and run ragged like I am? Will you even have any energy to celebrate? My four kids are grown, but I’m now caretaker five days a week for my 20-month-old grandson and soon his baby sister, who’s due in less than a month.
I love every exhausting minute of it, but my absent-minded goof-ups are too numerous to count. I know I’m not alone. I’ve collected this list of airhead incidents from mothers I know.
Member of Airheads Anonymous
You know you’re overtired and need a break when:
You buy a week’s worth of groceries, load them in the trunk, hop into the passenger seat, and wait for your husband to get in and drive when you suddenly realize you’re by yourself.
You turn down an aisle in the supermarket and reach for a turn signal on your shopping cart.
You get upset with your child for doing something you disapprove of, but they tell you that you gave them permission. You then recall giving them permission and wonder why you did.
You’re about to cook a meal and open a package of food. You throw the food item in the trash and put the wrapper on the counter. After a lengthy search for the food item, you realize what you did, but have no recollection of throwing the food away.
You put diaper ointment on your toothbrush.
You tell the friend you’re talking to on the phone, “Hang on a minute,” and go to do something. Then you forget all about the friend you left hanging on the phone.
You put the dry cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard.
You grab your phone as you’re rushing to the school office. Once there, you set your cell on the counter, waiting for the secretary to help you. She looks at you with a puzzled expression and asks why you brought your remote control.
You’re in a hurry and drive through a fast food restaurant to get a quick dinner for the family. You pay for the order and get halfway home when you realize you drove off without the food.
You have a hectic day running errands. When you get home, you put your feet up to sit back and relax. You’re horrified when you look down and notice you’re wearing two different shoes.
People ask how old your baby is. You answer, “He’s a seven-month-year-old. You realize you misspoke and added the word “year,” but you still say it every time someone asks his age.
Your lips are chapped. You grab a tube of chapstick off the kitchen counter and apply it to your lips as your husband stands there gawking at you. Then you notice what you thought was chapstick is actually your six-year-old’s glue stick.
You reach for your cup to take a sip of coffee, but it’s not on the end table. You look in the bathroom to see if you set it there when you were brushing your hair. Nope. The mug is nowhere to be found, so you pour a new cup of stale coffee (too tired to make a fresh pot). When you open the microwave to heat it, there’s the cup you were looking for.
You can’t find your glasses. Not having them makes it harder to focus while searching for them. Now you’re not only late for your appointment, but also flustered, frazzled, and ready to move to the funny farm when you discover they’re right there on top of your head.
You pay the cashier at the gas station for $25 of gas on pump #3. You drive a couple of miles down the freeway when you realize you forgot to pump the gas.
You pick up your phone, press the numbers, and can’t figure out why the TV won’t turn on.
You use your blinker to turn into your garage, which is behind your house.
You’re working at your desk. The phone rings and you answer it, but there’s no sound because you grabbed the stapler.
You put the washcloth in the fridge and dirty socks in the toilet.
You put the remote control in the refrigerator.
You’re pregnant, enormous, and uncomfortable. One night you wake up thinking your husband is out of town, but you notice an intruder in your bed, so you leap up, ready to call your neighbor. Then it dawns on you the intruder is actually your husband and he’s not out of town after all.
So, mothers, when you find yourself doing silly things, rest assured you’re not alone.
To become an official member of Airheads Anonymous, just fill out the form below:
I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing Mother’s Day.
Do you have any absent-minded moments you’d like to share?
If you have a parenting or grandparenting story
relating to any topic, I’d love to hear from you.
If you’re not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too!
Warning: I might feature your story in a future post.
(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)
My thanks to everyone who has contributed to this series.
These posts wouldn’t be the same without your input.
If you don’t want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, here’s my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.