Airheads Anonymous – Parenting Plights & Delights

 

Lynn Kelley, Lynn Kelley Author, Parenting Plights and Delights, Curse of the Double Digits, BBH McChiller, Monster Moon mysteries

Mother’s Day is upon us. Are you super busy and run ragged like I am? Will you even have any energy to celebrate? My four kids are grown, but I’m now caretaker five days a week for my 20-month-old grandson and soon his baby sister, who’s due in less than a month.

I love every exhausting minute of it, but my absent-minded goof-ups are too numerous to count. I know I’m not alone. I’ve collected this list of airhead incidents from mothers I know.

Lynn Kelley, Lynn Kelley author, children's author, Curse of the Double Digits, BBH McChiller, Monster Moon mysteries

Member of Airheads Anonymous

You know you’re overtired and need a break when:

You buy a week’s worth of groceries, load them in the trunk, hop into the passenger seat, and wait for your husband to get in and drive when you suddenly realize you’re by yourself.

You turn down an aisle in the supermarket and reach for a turn signal on your shopping cart.

You get upset with your child for doing something you disapprove of, but they tell you that you gave them permission. You then recall giving them permission and wonder why you did.

You’re about to cook a meal and open a package of food. You throw the food item in the trash and put the wrapper on the counter. After a lengthy search for the food item, you realize what you did, but have no recollection of throwing the food away.

You put diaper ointment on your toothbrush.

You tell the friend you’re talking to on the phone, “Hang on a minute,” and go to do something. Then you forget all about the friend you left hanging on the phone.

You put the dry cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard.

Lynn Kelley, Lynn Kelley author, Curse of the Double Digits, BBH McChiller, Monster Moon mysteries

You grab your phone as you’re rushing to the school office. Once there, you set your cell on the counter, waiting for the secretary to help you. She looks at you with a puzzled expression and asks why you brought your remote control.

You’re in a hurry and drive through a fast food restaurant to get a quick dinner for the family. You pay for the order and get halfway home when you realize you drove off without the food.

You have a hectic day running errands. When you get home, you put your feet up to sit back and relax. You’re horrified when you look down and notice you’re wearing two different shoes.

People ask how old your baby is. You answer, “He’s a seven-month-year-old. You realize you misspoke and added the word “year,” but you still say it every time someone asks his age.

Your lips are chapped. You grab a tube of chapstick off the kitchen counter and apply it to your lips as your husband stands there gawking at you. Then you notice what you thought was chapstick is actually your six-year-old’s glue stick.

You reach for your cup to take a sip of coffee, but it’s not on the end table. You look in the bathroom to see if you set it there when you were brushing your hair. Nope. The mug is nowhere to be found, so you pour a new cup of stale coffee (too tired to make a fresh pot). When you open the microwave to heat it, there’s the cup you were looking for.

You can’t find your glasses. Not having them makes it harder to focus while searching for them. Now you’re not only late for your appointment, but also flustered,  frazzled, and ready to move to the funny farm when you discover they’re right there on top of your head.

You pay the cashier at the gas station for $25 of gas on pump #3. You drive a couple of miles down the freeway when you realize you forgot to pump the gas.

Lynn Kelley, Lynn Kelley author, Curse of the Double Digits, BBH McChiller, Monster Moon mysteries

You pick up your phone, press the numbers, and can’t figure out why the TV won’t turn on.

You use your blinker to turn into your garage, which is behind your house.

You’re working at your desk. The phone rings and you answer it, but there’s no sound because you grabbed the stapler.

You put the washcloth in the fridge and dirty socks in the toilet.

You put the remote control in the refrigerator.

You’re pregnant, enormous, and uncomfortable. One night you wake up thinking your husband is out of town, but you notice an intruder in your bed, so you leap up, ready to call your neighbor. Then it dawns on you the intruder is actually your husband and he’s not out of town after all.

So, mothers, when you find yourself doing silly things, rest assured you’re not alone.

To become an official member of Airheads Anonymous, just fill out the form below:

AirheadsAnonymousForm, Lynn Kelley, Lynn Kelley author, Curse of the Double Digits, BBH McChiller, Monster Moon mysteries

I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing Mother’s Day.

Do you have any absent-minded moments you’d like to share?

If you have a parenting or grandparenting story

relating to any topic, I’d love to hear from you.

If you’re not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too!

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post.

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

My thanks to everyone who has contributed to this series.

These posts wouldn’t be the same without your input.

 If you don’t want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, here’s my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

This entry was posted in Funny, Holidays, Humor, Kids, Parenting Plights and Delights and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Airheads Anonymous – Parenting Plights & Delights

  1. These were hilarious! The sad thing is, I’ve done several of them and i don’t have kids. I guess I’ll have to blame the cat. LOL Thanks for the laugh, Lynn!

  2. Oh Lynn, thank you for the laugh of the day! I read these to my sister and we were both LOL. ;D The mug in the microwave thing I do all the time. Ugh. My biggest problem is that I forget what I’m doing as soon as I wander into another room to do it. It took me three tries today to take a Claritin…every time I went into the kitchen, I got side-tracked by something else. So sad…but could be so funny; I need to write them down like you!

    • Lynn Kelley says:

      Teresa – Good to know I’m not alone in forgetting about my mug in the microwave! That’s so funny that you kept getting sidetracked on the way to take a Claritin. I have to save this for a future absent-minded post!

  3. Those are hilarious! I’m not a parent, but I’ve put strange things in the fridge before. And once I used automatic dish detergent at the laundry mat by accident. (At least the clothes had no streaks, right?)

  4. Joni Hahn aka Sophie Greyson says:

    I’m with Teresa and Rhonda. I do some of these things and my kids moved out years ago. The other day I went to Target to buy my dh a knee brace and walked out with new jewelry for myself and no knee brace. Yeah, I am on the ball…

    • Lynn Kelley says:

      Joni – That’s hysterical! I’m still laughing. Did you have to go back and buy the knee brace later, or did dh end up going himself to get it? Thanks for sharing. I love this!

  5. susielindau says:

    Many times I have pushed buttons on my cell phone and couldn’t figure out why the TV channels didn’t change. Last weekend I put the carryout on the counter and caught myself putting my cell phone in the refrigerator. I bet it just gets better! Hahaha! Funny Lynn! I can relate!

    • Lynn Kelley says:

      Susie – Hahaha! I love it that you caught yourself putting your cell phone in the fridge. And pushing the buttons on your phone instead of the TV remote is your story from a comment you left a year ago! I bet you’re not the only one who’s done this!

  6. Diana Beebe says:

    So, so funny, and yet not funny at all. 😉 Hilarious post, Lynn! I can relate to all of it.

    You know you’re tired when you put up the groceries and put the milk in the pantry.

  7. I loved these! I have done many of these things and I don’t have kids! I think just being tired and busy can do it. 🙂 Last week I went to buy takeout, paid for it, left and got in the car. My husband looked at me funny and I started to go back in the restaurant, but they were coming out to bring me the food I had paid for, but forgotten.

    I am one of 4 kids and my mom reversed through our garage doors twice when I was growing up. Both times she was reprimanding one of my brothers. The second time I had to go upstairs because I was laughing so hard and my mom was SO mad that she did it again.

    • Lynn Kelley says:

      Stephanie – Oh my gosh, this is hilarious, though I’m sure it was funny to your mom for a very long time. I hope she’s able to laugh about it now! I’m saving this. One of the funniest parenting stories I’ve heard of!

  8. Just testing to see if I lost my last comment.

  9. lynettemburrows says:

    LOL. LOL. LOL. You’ve been filming me in secret, haven’t you?! I am not confessing to how many of those I’ve done. 🙂 And my son’s been grown and out from underfoot for a long time. Guess I’ll blame it on the dust bunnies.

  10. Lynn Kelley says:

    Lynette – Yep, we can blame it on dust bunnies or the cat or whatever we want. Happens to most of us whether we’re parents or not. Just multiplies when we’re raising kids!

  11. Hee, hee! I’ve done a few of those pre and post kids. What crazy person thinks there’s an intruder? 😉

    • Lynn Kelley says:

      Catherine – My sister thought your intruder story was the funniest one in the list here. Yours and the glue stick story! Thanks for sharing that comment last week. Perfect timing to go with this week’s post!

  12. maggieamada says:

    Loved diaper cream on the toothbrush. I’ve left the groceries at the store more than once and use the remote control as a phone repeatedly. Great list, Lynn.

    • Maggie – Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I’ve left groceries at the store, too! I forgot about that. And that’s so funny that you’ve also tried to use the remote control as a phone! I love it!

  13. My mom and I got into an elevator this week and talked for I don’t know how long until the doors opened and someone else got on–we were still on the first floor. We never pushed the button. 🙂 Happy Mother’s day, Lynn!

    • Coleen – I love your elevator story! Sounds like my daughter and I when we’re driving, just get lost in conversation and always miss the off ramp we were supposed to take. I’m saving your comment for another post!

  14. Hehehe… This gave me many moments of cackling! I’m guilty of most of the kitchen offences – and I don’t have kids!!! So there’s another reason not to have any 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day, Lynn!! I hope you’ve had an awesome day! xo

  15. LOL These are hilarious! Did I give you the one about the washcloth in the fridge and dirty socks in the toilet? Because I’ve totally done that – and before my daughter came along! Grandma Powell was a champ at the coffee in the microwave one.

    • Jennette – Yes, the washcloth in the fridge and dirty socks in the toilet are from a comment you left on last year’s Mother’s Day post about absent-minded moments. So Grandma Powell left her coffee in the microwave regularly? Ah, so funny! I’m in good company!

  16. Kim Cleary says:

    I love your airheads anonymous pledge 🙂 The funniest thing I have ever done is taken the dog’s tablets instead of my own. Luckily they were just dog size doses of human drugs and no damage was done. But for a few moments after realising what I’d done I googled like a demon to check what I’d swallowed 😛

    • Kim – Thanks for mentioning the airheads anonymous pledge. I wasn’t sure how well that would go over! Taking the dog’s tablets by mistakes, OMG, that would have freaked me out, too. I’m so glad there was no harm done! Woof! (Sorry, I couldn’t help it!)

  17. Pingback: Air Head Moments During the Holidays- Air Heads Anonymous - You Just Made the List by Doing Things Like Putting Eyeliner on Your Lips, Pouring Coffee into an Upside-Down Mug, Paying For Gas and Driving Halfway Down the Freeway Before You Remember You Forg

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